Where Did You Rank Rogue One? Here’s Where the Geeks Did

A long, long time ago, in a Geekiverse not so far away,
slightly after the release of the much anticipated (at least by the writers at the Geekiverse) The Force Awakens, we all put our collective Star Wars fanboys (and girls) together and we ranked each of the Star Wars films. This was WAY before Lou created his RANKED columns. Now, after Rogue One hits the galaxy, we had to revisit it, right? So, we did.

When I wrote the original article, I used a two fold rating system. First, I just looked to see in each spot, which movie was chosen the most times. Luckily there were no conflicts.

Secondly, I created a point system, whereby if a film was ranked number 1, it got 7 points and if it was ranked last, it got 1 point. Yes, of course, I did the same thing this time and forgot to start at 8 because Rogue One was the eighth film. Yes, of course, I had to start all over again. Would you expect anything different?

Rogue One clearly was a film that was the most thought-provoking, as some of the geeks reworked their entire rankings after seeing it. We have been known to tip a few glasses of Alderaani Wine while chatting around the Bacta cooler on Monday morning. It changes everything.

Here’s all of the geek rankings in one easy chart.


When you apply the first scale, which movie is picked most in each spot, adding Rogue One and the reworking of a few of their lists, you end up with 2 spots where the same movie is picked twice. Empire Strikes Back wins #1 and #2, while Revenge of the Sith wins #6 and#7. This causes The Force Awakens and Attack of the Clones to not be represented. So, I ran these numbers through the same algorithm that Facebook uses to choose the ads on my wall and that cleared things up a bit, as the number 2 slot then goes to Dominoes Pizza, and the number 6 slot goes to Hanes Boxer Shorts. (I don’t know what that is about. I never shop for boxer online)

Unsatisfied with that, I decided to see if there was a good Common Core answer to the problem so, I carried the three and moved the 10’s place to a new sheet of paper and divided by 11, but not using traditional long division, and then reversed the places of everything. Nothing. So then I took the two duplicate columns and I picked the column that had the most of the movies in it, and then, as luck would have it, the missing movies were the most picked in the other column. I know this gives this method the same credibility as the polls on election night2016, but the final ranking it produced was this:

1. The Force Awakens
2. The Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi
4. Rogue One
5. A New Hope
6. Revenge of the Sith
7. Attack of the Clones
8. Phantom Menace

As far as the point system ranking, there were no irregularities. Each 1st place move got 8 points, and each last place movie got 1 point. The rankings this produced were:

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. Return of the Jedi
3. The Force Awakens
4. Rogue One
5. A New Hope
6. Revenge of the Sith
7. Attack of the Clones
8. Phantom Menace

The last time, as I pointed out in a NCAA kind of way, we had 2 perfect brackets – Trevor “Two-oh” White and Jeff “Beta” Dugan. Trevor put Rogue One in the wrong place to keep his status as bracketeer extraordinaire, and Beta is one of the people who were so moved by Rogue One that he reworked his entire past bracket and took it many light years away from perfect.

No worries, friends, we did have one perfect bracket this time around, Lou “The Sweetest” Mattiuzzo who was on hiatus during the original ranking in April, nailed it with a perfect bracket as produced by the second, unquestionable, point system ranking. Way to go, Lou.

We’ll be back whenever the next film comes out to do this all again. What could possibly go wrong? I can’t wait to see what the indecisive geeks do then.

Pete Herr is the author of “10 Things We Should Teach You In High School and Usually Don’t”. He is the oldest geek in the Geekiverse by a factor of two. Follow Pete Herr on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram . If you don’t he gets Grumpy. You don’t want to see him Grumpy.


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