Orange is the New Black Season 4, Episode 5

“It’s like a fake Disneyland.”

**Spoilers Below

Caputo and Linda go to Baltimore as part of a seminar on jail efficiency and etiquette in a sense. Linda is nervous about the speech she’s set to make, which is fine until Mike Birbiglia’s character Danny Pearson ruins the whole ordeal. Caputo tries to ease the tension, only to essentially strike an officer. No big deal. In the end, he gets the girl! She loves the fact he stuck up for her. Illogical at best, but when all else fails, bring out the handcuffs? Am I right?

Per the theme of the past episodes, we also go into the backstory of a character. This time it’s Maritza. She’s a small time hustler using her good looks and fake charm to swoon money out of guys. She gets talked to a bigger heist, which of course goes horribly wrong. Then she pulls the same stuff to hide dirty panties as she drives the new veterans turned prison guards to their barracks. Overall, just a weird scenario, but surprisingly realistic. Cute girl hits on a prison guard and tells him to feel her up, you think the guard is going to pass in real life? Prison breaks never happen. Not once. Never.

Speaking of dirty panties, because I have to segue somehow, Piper is still trying to get herself back as the top dawg when it comes to dirty panties. Maria however, is proving herself to be quite the adversary. So, Piper gets a group of inmates together and discusses ways they can improve their careers in the jail. However, they’re all white, and the session quickly turns into a white power rally. Who didn’t see that coming?

Brunner 1.0 is the ginger king of the world all thing Geek. And you’re next if you say otherwise.

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