I have a headache.
AHOY! Spoilers abound!
Welcome back fellow Westerosi. It is time again for our weekly Game of Thrones recap and review. Yes, I know the episode left us questioning the destinies of many, and yes I know your probably sore with the outcome of this episode, but all things have their reasons.
We start in the North where it’s looking like war is very close to the doorstep of the Night’s Watch. We visit Mole’s Town where Sam has left Gilly with her baby to be a helping hand around at a brothel, thinking she’ll be safe from the lechers on The Wall. Turns out the ones she should be frightened of is her own kind. Ygritte makes another appearance and she’s not holding anything back. She is taking her vendetta against Jon very seriously; cutting the throats of people who haven’t done them any wrong except live South of The Wall. Along with her merry band of Wildlings, they go through Mole’s Town cutting down anyone standing in their way. Ygritte finds Gilly in a pantry holding her son, which I feel was the only reason why she was spared, and tells her to be quiet as blood pours around her.
News of the attack makes its way to Sam and The Wall were he regrets ever bringing her there. It’s looking grim for them as the army marches closer.
We go to Meereen where there is love in the air? We get a glimpse of other relationships taking wing between Grey Worm and Missandei. (She’s ten in the books.. I’m curious as to where this is headed.) Grey Worm watches Missandei while she baths and she later discusses it with Daenery’s wondering if the Master’s took everything from Grey Worm. Much later, Missandei and Grey Worm meet in the Throne room where she tells him she was happy he saw her bathing and he responds in kind.
We go back to the North where Ramsay Snow is using his plaything, Theon Greyjoy a.k.a Reek, to gain control of Moat Cailian. He tells him to go there and tell his soldiers to surrender themselves to Roose Bolton and then they will allow them safe passage to the Stony Shore. He does and it looks like their plan is going well until, Reek’s facade begins slipping as tensions rise, but a nice axe to the head gets everyone to agree to surrendering and then they are FLAYED! Yep, gruesome. Ramsay is then awarded what he desired more than anything to be a true Bolton and Roose gains what he desired Winterfell. (I feel that Alfie Allen (Theon) deserves an Emmy for portraying a headstrong man who’s sanity is reduced to nothing. He’s really good at playing crazy.)
Back at the Vale, Baelish is on trial for the murder of Lysa Arryn since you know, he pushed that crazy b@#$% out of the Moon Door and it doesn’t look good for him. However, there was a witness to his crime. The jurors call in Sansa Stark and she confesses everything. (Sophie Turner’s speech about the past year of her life is heartbreaking.) First she tells the jurors who she really is and that everything Baelish has done was to keep her safe. She talks about how she’s been a hostage in King’s Landing since her father was beheaded and how Joffery would beat and torture her and how they married her to Tyrion. She changes her tune and tells them that Littlefinger saved her and smuggled her out of King’s Landing and how he was her only friend. At this point in her speech you can tell that Littlefinger is feeling confident and relaxed as he gives her a small smile while she continues her account about her aunt’s death. Sansa tells them about how her aunt has loved Baelish since he was eight and was so happy when she could finally be with him. But she was a very jealous woman and when she saw Baelish kiss Sansa she went crazy and jumped out of the Moon Door. As one of the jurors tries to comfort a weeping Sansa she looks over at Baelish and they lock gazes both knowing that she saved his life. The trial is adjourned: Baelish is a free man and the death is ruled a suicide.
Baelish convinces the jurors that what they need in order to protect the Vale from the Lannisters is Robin Arryn and they need him to become the Lord of Vale. He purposes that Robin learn how to swing a sword and ride horse and more importantly to visit the Lords and Ladies of his land. “Time for Robin to leave the nest.”
Back in Meereen the shit hits the fan. Barristan is delivered a letter postmarked a year ago from King’s Landing that says Jorah Mormont has been pardoned of his crimes for spying on Khalessi. This is not going to sit well with her and Jorah must face trial for his betrayal. During the trial we find out that Mormont was sending Varys letters about Daenerys including her marriage, and her pregnancy. Outraged, she puts two and two together. Remembering how a year ago she had almost died when she was about to drink poisoned wine from a merchant because of those letters. Angry and heartbroken she tells Jorah to leave her and to never return and if he should stay she will have him killed. (That’s one way to stay in the friendzone forever.)
Going back to the Vale, Baelish goes to Sansa and asks her why she helped him. It’s very simple.. he’s the only one she has left that helped her. If she didn’t help him she’d be left alone and with nothing. This is the first time in the series that Baelish doesn’t have the upper hand. The scene changes and we see Arya and The Hound walking towards the gates of the Vale, there they find out that they walked all this way for nothing since the Lady Lysa is dead. (Maisie Williams’ laugh is hilarious and sums up what we were all feeling) The scene ends with Baelish, Robin, and Sansa heading out to leave the Vale. And a look from Baelish to Sansa suggesting that she isn’t a little girl anymore.
We finally get what we’ve been waiting for: the trial. We find Tyrion still in his cell talking to Jaime about life. He goes on to talk about how he’s figured out a lot about life and that his only regret was not understanding why his mentally challenged cousin would always kill beetles. (One of my favorite parts that you have to pay attention to is Tyrion talking about their old Maester, where Jamie replies that the Maester tried to touch him once. Haa.) This speech was very long and has me wondering if he’s hinting at things to come. The bell tolls and it is time for the Gods to watch the trial by combat.
Oberyn… Ohh Oberyn. The combat starts off slow with Oberyn (The fantastic Pedro Pascal) showing off for the crowd. (Might as well please them). He tells the Mountain that he is Oberyn Martel brother of Elia Martel, the woman who was raped and killed by the Mountain’s hands. Right away you can tell that Oberyn is having a good time and that he is the better fighter. Things start going down hill quickly when red is all he can see. Even stabbing The Mountain through the chest with his spear is not enough for him. Obsessed with the need to hear him say those words he keeps repeating: “You raped her, you murdered her, you killed her children.” The reason for it is because Oberyn needs a confession by the Mountain before he can act on Tywin Lannister for giving the order to kill his sister. This is where the episode goes sour. The Mountain goes on the offensive and strikes Oberyn down, gouging out his eyes and then crushing his skull in as he admits to raping and murdering Elia and killing her children. The Mountain collapses next to what was once Oberyn Martel and Tyrion is found guilty by the gods.(everyone’s reaction after the episode)
I’ll give this episode a solid 8.5/10.
Final Review: 8.5/10
-Needs more Arya
-Random nude bathing scene
-So much gore
Next Episode is going to be another good one where war erupts in the North. Mance Rayder has landed at The Wall! Only two more episodes ;_; but the 9th episode is usually the best. Cheers and see you next week!
Sam Sarvis is Geekiverse’s resident Game of Thrones expert.